


Kakashi needs someone

by TheWolves24



Category: Naruto
Genre: Hatake Kakashi Needs a Hug, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychologists & Psychiatrists, Sarcasm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:01:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23339599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWolves24/pseuds/TheWolves24
Summary: Everyone needs someone to talk to. Even when they don't necessarily want to..Kakashi's journey towards cleansing himself of his demons, and maybe along the way he finds something better, something to call his own.The first part will be a reader au, and the rest the reader will be named. Will be a series!Also, this is set BEFORE Minato and Kushina die.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 76





	Kakashi needs someone

**Author's Note:**

> Set

“Minato. He needs help. Surely you can see that.” You told the blonde Hokage, starting to get a bit agitated. 

“I know, I just…I don’t think he’ll sit down for a chat with you is all. He’s uh-he’s pretty stubborn.” He told you, sweat dropping slightly. 

Shrugging, you stood up. 

“Yeah, well. Isn’t every shinobi?” You jested, getting no smile from your joke. 

Rude. 

“Hi, Kakashi.” You said to him, watching him roll his one eye that he left uncovered. 

“A shrink, huh? Knew this was coming.” He muttered, plopping himself down heavily on your couch, rubbing at his covered eye. 

You gave him a small smile, folding your legs under your body, waiting on him to get situated. Maybe he’d start talking after getting comfortable. 

Which didn’t happen. 

“I guess this will be easier if I start.” You said, standing up, pouring yourself some water. 

Silence. 

“Want to talk about your nightmares?” 

Silence. 

“You can tell me whatever you’re comfortable with sharing, Kakashi. There are no secrets here.” 

Silence. 

Sitting down again, you looked him over. 

There were bags under his eyes, that you could see. He looked _exhausted_ and agitated if his clenched fists were anything to go by. 

“You know, you don’t have to say anything at all, if you don’t want to.” 

Silence. 

“However, I am going to talk.” 

Silence. 

“I saw this really pretty blue jay today, you don’t see them much around here, actually. He was singing.” 

Silence. 

“There are a lot of flowers I’d like to harvest soon; the season is passing by for me to do so and I really want to get my garden back under maintenance. Stupid?” You questioned him, picking up a gardening book and flipping through it. 

Silence. 

Finally. 

“Why’d you wait so long?” He murmured. 

Looking up, you caught his one eye wandering to the outside world, fists unclenched now. 

“I was doing research. I’m trying to find statistics on cacti that can grow in this area. It truly is fascinating how _native_ they are to this region.” 

That gained a little bit of his attention. 

“I like cactus, I’ve tried growing them from seedlings. Granted, I don’t get to see them much since I’m on missions, but I try to get them kickstarted before I go.” 

Smiling softly, you pushed your hair out of your eyes. 

“You might as well ask me what you wanna ask.” He mumbled in annoyance. 

Raising an eyebrow, you sat back in your chair. 

“No. I want you to _tell_ me, I’m not trying to force it out of you. This isn’t a race, and none of this is on a time limit.” 

Silence. 

“Do you think I’m broken?” He grumbled, picking at his fingernails now. 

_Nervous habit._

“Absolutely not.” You told him firmly. 

He hmphed, rolling his one eye. 

“I-I guess I can tell you about some of my nightmares. Might as well.” He sighed, leaning back slightly. 

Silence. 

“They’re about Rin. Sometimes about Obito. Hell, sometimes about _both_ of them.” 

You waited. 

“I just see her face every night, and me imp-me _killing_ her.” He shot out after stumbling over the word _impale._

“Are you angry with her?” You asked, rubbing your manicured nails between each finger. 

He whipped his head up to you. 

“Of course not. Why the _hell_ would I be mad at her when I’m the one who killed her?” He demanded, every word laced with venom. 

Shrugging lightly, you looked directly into his face. 

“Because she is the one who flung herself into your attack. Right?” 

Silence. 

"Do you ever find yourself angry with her?” 

Silence. 

“It’s understandable if you are, you know?” 

Silence. 

You decided to let him think about that for a moment, standing up to look out the window. It was a slightly gloomy day, the clouds were overcast and there was a rumbling in the distance. 

It would help your flowers anyway. 

“How old are you?” HIs voice called out. 

Turning, you pushed a little bit of hair out of your eyes. 

“23. I graduated really early from my school. I haven’t lived here very long actually.” 

Kakashi raised an unimpressed eyebrow at you. 

“You’re...?” You left the question open, trying to start another conversation with him. 

“About to be twenty.” He muttered. 

_Wow, so he's been having these nightmares for years now. How had no-one else seen to him?_

Sighing softly, you nodded, turning back to the window. 

_Don’t become emotionally attached, Y/N._

Silence. 

It drew on for close to ten minutes before he sighed himself and stood up. 

“This is a complete waste of time. I didn’t need _counseling_ when it actually happened and I don’t need it now. Good luck with your nonsensical garden.” 

He made to leave, but you just smirked, clearing your throat. 

“Is that a defense mechanism, Kakashi?” 

He stopped, turning around to stare at you, a bored look on his face. 

“Meaning what?” 

Shrugging, you leaned against the window sill, just looking him over. 

“You push people away. You push them away with sarcasm and your nonchalance. And when that doesn’t work, you avoid them, or you don’t even acknowledge they’re even in your presence.” 

He just stared at you, the slight widening of his left eye letting you know that that had cracked his veneer. 

After a second, he just glared lightly, turned and left. 

A week later, you were in your office, fanning yourself with papers, when a knock interrupted your heat stroke. 

“Come in.” You called, leaning back in your chair, closing your eyes, waiting on the person who needed something to speak. 

“You can always turn the air up higher; you know?” Came a bored voice. 

Snapping your eyes open, you looked at the silver-haired man, wholly shocked that he was here. 

“I wasn’t expecting you, Kakashi.” 

He shrugged. 

“It’s a time killer when I’m not on missions, always a joy to hear what’s got me so messed up. And it’s free, so why the hell not.” 

You caught the tension in his voice, as he plopped down on your sofa. 

“That’s the spirit, think positive.” You grumbled, looking down at your attire and sighing. 

You were _not_ dressed to see a client. 

Oh well. 

Standing from your chair, you went over to your mini fridge that you had just adorned in your office and opened the door, grabbing out a water bottle. 

“Nice footwear.” 

You were barefoot, throwing your shoes off after two hours of sitting in this sweat box. 

“Yeah, well, it was either take them off, or the sweat would literally have made them slide off. Water?” 

He shook his head. 

A couple minutes rolled by and you were sitting, chugging down some h20, waiting on the Hatake male to start speaking. 

“You sure you graduated? This isn’t a trial version for you or something?” He asked, eye narrowed, arms crossed. 

Chuckling lightly, you reached over and grabbed your notebook, clicking a pen to writing formation. 

“No, unfortunately for you, this is not a trial run for me. I’m quite good at this job, Kakashi. Like it or not.” You responded, raising your own eyebrow at him, expecting a smart quip back. 

You didn’t get one. 

“Tell me about Obito.” 

He tensed, he tensed so hard that the couch squeaked. 

“No.” 

Running your finger over a bare page, you didn’t say anything, just took in his tensed features. 

“You told me last time that you dream about him. What does he do in these dreams?” 

Silence. 

“He talks. Just like he did when he was alive. He never shut up.” 

Silence. 

“And, does he just replay what he said to you the last time you two spoke?” He prodded gently, after giving him a few seconds to process that he was actually responding to your questions regarding his dead friend. 

“Mostly. Sometimes he’s uh-he's chiding me for not protecting Rin.” 

You could see his nostrils flare beneath his mask. 

“And I’m going to say what most shrinks say, how does that make you feel?” 

He rolled his eyes. 

“Great, that’s why I get tons of sleep.” 

Sarcasm. 

_Defense._

_“_ No need to do that, Kakashi.” You murmured softly. 

He started to tap his finger against his knee. 

“It makes me feel angry. Alright? Is that what you’d like to hear?” 

You shrugged your shoulder. 

“I want to hear how it affects _you.”_

He just sighed, scratching his nose. 

And, you were taking a chance with this, but you might as well just let it out. 

“I think, and this is just _my_ opinion, but you feel guilty, don’t you?” 

The glower that crossed his face was dark, and you found yourself putting your feet on the floor, watching his movements closely. 

He stood, eyes never leaving yours. 

“What do you know? Your opinion means _nothing_ to me.” He hissed, turning and leaving the room. 

You watched him go, frustrated that you finally cracked him a little bit, only to have him get angry and leave. 

The next week you were on the ground, filing away paperwork, when you dropped some papers. 

Cursing slightly, you bent low to retrieve them, not seeing the drawer you left open above you. 

You couldn’t hear the office door open either. 

Something was grabbing your elbow, and that made you jump, which made you bump your head roughly on the drawer that was still open above you. 

“Damnit!” You yelled, slamming the offending drawer shut with ferocity, and spinning on the person that scared you silly. 

Kakashi. 

“Oh.” You said, blushing a little bit at the funny smirk that was on his features. 

“Having a good day?” He questioned; humor wedged in his voice. 

Huffing, you laid the papers that were still yet to be filed on your desk, grabbing your notebook off the ledge. 

“It was great until I knocked the memories out of my head, yes.” 

Kakashi didn’t lose his smirk. 

“I can check out the bump, I see a lot of head wounds.” 

Rolling your eyes, you beckoned him over to you. 

“Ouch! Be gentle!” You snapped at him, reaching out to shove his hand away from your sensitive tresses. 

“Don’t be a baby.” He mumbled, poking around the area you hit. 

Pouting petulantly, you let him look you over. 

“You’ll have minimal bruising, might want to put some ice on it as soon as you can. Other than that, it’s pretty menial.” 

He backed up, sitting in the chair he was inhabiting before. 

Nodding lightly, you thanked him, giving a small smile. 

He didn’t return it. 

“Last time we left on a bad note.” 

Silence. 

“I don’t want to leave it that way today, if that’s at all possible, alright?” 

He raised a dusty brow. 

“Any new nightmares?” 

Silence. 

Back to day one you guessed. 

“Do you enjoy the missions you take now?” You asked him, maybe he would respond to these. 

He just looked you over, huffing. 

“They’re missions. I do what I have to for the good of the village. I don’t argue with what the Hokage needs done, I just do it.” 

_Unhealthy mindset._

You jotted that down. 

“You’re evaluating me now?” He snapped, his tone annoyed. 

You shook your head, putting the pen on top of the notepad. 

“I take notes with the people I talk to. It’s important for me to get their thoughts and my thoughts sorted. It’s like with missions, you might have notes regarding them, and what your actions need to entail for it to be successful.” 

He didn’t argue with that, and the subject was let go. 

“Minato was your teacher, right?” 

He nodded his head. 

Time was up, and you were slightly thankful. 

He was _not_ a talker. 

“You know, if you _really_ don’t want to be here, you don’t have to be. I don’t want you to feel like I’m _forcing_ you to stay.” 

He just stared at you. 

And then turned and left. 

Okay then. 

Two weeks flew by this time, and he hadn’t come back. 

Well, you guessed that was that. It was a shame; it would have been good to try to take the young man out of his thoughts for a bit. Get him to open up about his traumas. 

Sighing, you picked at a dead flower that was on your desk. 

You really needed to get rid of these. 

Suddenly, there was a knock at your window, and you jumped slightly. 

Turning quickly, you saw Kakashi waving sardonically at you, beckoning you forward. 

Standing, you crossed the space and flung the glass open. 

“You have a knack for scaring me.” You grit out to him, a little annoyed now. 

He only stared at you though, not saying anything. 

“Uh, can I help you with something...or?” 

He nodded, reaching out a hand to you, palm up. 

“I-uh-look, I don’t know you that well, and as much as I make a habit of jumping out windows with ninjas I barely know, I have a lot of-ack!” 

He grabbed you, slotting you on his back, and took off across the rooftops. 

“I’m gonna be sick, put me down!” You yelled at him over the wind. 

He automatically stopped within the tree line and dropped you near one of the training grounds. 

Scrambling, you hunched over and held your stomach, closing your eyes and waiting for the world to _stop_ spinning. 

“You good?” A sarcastic voice cut through your misery. 

Turning, you felt your eyebrows twitch in anger. 

“I’m not a ninja, you know. I don’t dart across rooftops like a goddamn squirrel, _next_ time let me know what your intentions are.” You snapped at him, shoving off one of his hands that had reached down to help you up. 

He didn’t say anything regarding that, his one eye looking you over sardonically. 

“I wanted to show you something. Think you can make it to the graveyard? Or will you get sick doing that as well?” 

Taking a deep breath in, you tried to reign in your annoyance, reminding yourself over and over that he was essentially a _client_ who needed your help. 

Psht. 

Right.   


It was empty when you two arrived, and you looked around at the mass of tombstones. 

Kami. 

He was walking ahead of you, his pathway made towards a stone that was sharp that had names etched in the black glass. 

When you two stopped in front of it, you felt a shift between the both of you, and you side eyed him, watching as his features tensed up. 

Silence. 

Finding your professionalism, you clutched your hands together. 

“Is this where your friends are buried, or uh, remembered?” You asked him, slapping yourself mentally. 

Silence. 

Oh fantastic, you offended him. 

Then. 

“Rin is buried a little ways away. Obito, he, we couldn’t retrieve his body, he was trapped in a rock enclosure that another ninja made fall on him.” 

Oh Kami, that sounded dreadful. And he witnessed this? 

Silence. 

Looking around, you spotted a grave a couple rows over and saw new flowers decorating the front of the tombstone. 

Was that Rins? 

Shaking off the thought, you looked back at him. 

“Do you come here every day?” 

He lifted a shoulder, letting you know that yes, he was probably here every day. 

“Do you ever talk to him? Or, do you just mull over what happened with you three?” 

Another shrug. 

Yes then. 

Oh Kami, this was so unprofessional, but you reached out and grabbed the wrist of the hand that he had shoved in his pocket. 

And he _tensed,_ Kami did he tense. 

“Kakashi. Grief doesn’t have a set amount of what to do’s and what not to do’s, and grief can stay with us for however long we keep it around.” 

He turned his head to you. 

“There’s nothing wrong with grieving the dead.” You whispered up to him, squeezing his wrist then letting it go. 

Silence. 

“I just think...” And he stopped, shuffling his feet. 

You didn’t turn your head to him, you didn’t want him to think you _expected_ him to answer. 

He was struggling with himself though, sighing loudly after a minute of silence. 

“It was my fault. I put them both here.” 

And that, that was a great breakthrough for him, it was _progress_ that he actually uttered the words aloud. 

“Do you honestly think that?” You asked him, darting your eyes over to his figure. 

“Yes. That’s why the fuck I just said it.” He snapped at you. 

You couldn’t help but blanch at the self-loathing that weaved through every syllable of that sentence. 

Silence. 

He said nothing else, just turned and left, leaving you there to stare at the stone and wonder what exactly had happened with him and his team. 

You were walking through town a couple days later, the night air clear and refreshing. 

You were in dire need of groceries and also wanted to try this amazing new recipe you found. 

In the midst of your dreams about your amazing dinner, you didn’t hear the footsteps behind you until a hand had clapped itself over your mouth. 

Shrieking, you wrenched your head back and there was suddenly sniggering around you. 

“She’s pretty, really fiesty, I like that.” 

Your stomach turned at his words and you fought against the hardening grip more and more. 

Out of nowhere, the grip of the hand around your mouth left you and you were pitched forward, landing harshly on your knees. 

“Oh shit! It’s Kakashi of the Sharingan! Run!” 

What? 

Whipping your head around, you saw that yes, indeed it was Kakashi, and he was just standing there, his hiate fully on his head, the one sharingan peaking out and spinning. 

The rest of the men darted off, leaving you two there in the middle of the street. 

Taking a deep breath in, you rose onto your feet and winced, grunting at the pain that radiated down both of your legs. 

“Are you injured?” The bored sounding voice asked. 

“Yes. I’ll be fine though.” You muttered. 

Reaching down, you winced again, grabbing the groceries that had been flung from your hands. 

You knew he deserved a thank you, but you were a little flustered, frustrated and pissed off. 

“Are you following me?” You asked him, rather rudely. 

Regarding you with a calm expression, he reached up and pushed his head band back over his sharingan, a silver brow raised. 

“Call it what you want I guess. Those wounds need tending to.” 

Looking down, you sucked in a breath at the blood that was slowly trickling down your legs. 

Oh crap. 

“I’ll help you out with them. Lead the way.” He said to you, leaving no room for an argument when you opened your mouth to protest. 

Damn. 

Honestly, this was unnecessary. 

But he followed you anyway, like a shadow. 

Sigh. 

Walking up the driveway, you opened the door to your home, stopping to take your sandals off. 

“Welcome to my humble abode.” You told him, watching his expressions. 

There was nothing. 

Of course not. 

“I-er-have a cat, she’s kind of...well, a bitch, so careful with her.” You told him, walking into the kitchen to put your small amount of groceries away. 

“This shouldn’t take long.” He told you, sitting at the table in your kitchen. 

Okay, well, help yourself. 

Reaching into his pants, he pulled out a small first aid kit and laid it down on your table, opening it. 

“Take a seat.” He demanded, kicking the chair out beside him. 

Rolling your eyes, you sat. 

“Do you have to be so rough?” You grit out to him. 

He looked up at you, expression bored, not an ounce of remorse anywhere. 

“I need to clean it out. Unless you _want_ it infected, if so, I’m wasting my time here.” 

Sighing, you just nodded, wincing at another rough cotton ball that cleansed your blood from the opening on your knee. 

He was done in ten minutes. 

Rough but quick. 

Hm. 

“I’m gonna go.” He said to you, standing up, grabbing his first aid kit and leaving the bloodied bandages and cotton balls on your table for you to clean. 

Standing up as well, your eyes caught on the spices that you had left out. 

“Do you want to stay for dinner? It’s only fair that I repay your kindness in helping me.” You said to him, smiling. 

“It wasn’t kindness.” He corrected you, and that made you wilt a little bit. 

Silence. 

“But sure, I’ll stay for dinner. It’s too late to start something at my house, and everything is closing soon.” 

“Ever clean an eggplant before?” You questioned him after tying your apron around your hips. 

His gaze whipped to yours. 

“Eggplant?” 

You blushed but nodded. You knew most people didn’t exaclty _like_ eggplant, but it was so diverse in cooking, and had such a wonderful taste that you couldn’t help but love it. 

“What are you making?” He questioned you, drumming his fingers on your table now. 

“Eggplant and Country Ham Ragu.” 

He raised a brow at that. 

“Don’t knock it till you try it.” You chided him, smiling. 

It took a good 45 minutes, and finally it was finished. 

“Doesn’t look exactly like the picture, but I’m not a chef, so.” You shrugged, letting that finish your sentence. 

Laying his plate out, you watched his reaction. 

Boredom. 

Flicking his eyes up to you, he put his hands together and muttered a quick thank you and picked up his chopsticks. 

“If you need me to turn away while you take down your mask, I can do so.” 

He pulled the material down his face, and you felt like the wind had been smacked out of you. 

He was disturbingly attractive. And you weren’t even _into_ shinobi. 

“I, uh, er.” 

Kakashi set his chopsticks down, reaching for the warm sake you had brought out. 

“Is something the matter?” 

Cheeky bastard. 

Oh well, the two of you had passed professionalism a long damn time ago. 

“I’m sure you’re well aware that you’re quite, er, _easy_ on the eyes. Is that why you wear that mask?” 

He just looked up, eyes bored, mouth full of food. 

And shrugged. 

Of course he only shrugged, that was his answer for everything. 

It wasn’t bad. 

Scratch that. 

It was damn delicious. 

“Hm, a job well done to me.” 

“Thanks again for the food.” He said to you, standing up and stretching his legs a bit, pushing his mask back over his face. 

You stood up as well, rubbing yours hands together awkwardly. 

“No problem, I really appreciate you helping me in the ally. I need to be more vigilant next time.” 

He just raised an eyebrow. 

“Not everyone has shinobi instincts.” 

You folded your arms. 

“No. Nor do I want them.” 

He said nothing, nodding slightly, turned and left your house. 

Well, that was... 

That was something. 

“Y/N. Getting anywhere with Hatake Kakashi?” Your superior asked you a few days later. 

No. 

“Oh, yes. He’s been a bit harder to crack, but I think we’re making progress.” 

That was probably the biggest lie you’d ever told someone. 

“Come on you bastard.” You hissed at the weed that wouldn’t give. 

The only thing you managed to do was get dirt in your mouth. 

“Oh, gross! Plu plu!” You spat, wiping your mouth free of the offending material. 

“Nice one.” 

Shrieking, you spun around, hoe in hand and swung on the person that had snuck up on you. 

Again. 

He caught the object with little to no effort whatsoever, which just made you even more angry. 

“Why can’t you just get my attention like a _normal_ person?!” You snapped at him, wrenching the hoe from his hand and giving him a slight push. 

He didn’t budge. 

Infuriating ninja. 

“Where’s the fun in that?” He questioned, a spark of playfulness in his eyes. 

Well, _that_ was new. 

“Kakashi. What are you here for? We don’t have another session that you will no doubt be an hour late for until...Tuesday?” 

Looking over at the calendar on your fridge, you tracked the day. 

“Yeah, Tuesday. Is something wrong?” 

He reached in his vest and pulled out a packet of seeds. 

Uh? 

“I saw these at a store, and remembered you told me about the garden you were starting to grow.” 

You took the packet. 

“Pretty sad attempt though.” He told you snidely. 

You glared at him, huffing. 

“Yeah well, in the words of the great Kakashi Hatake, your opinion doesn’t mean a damn thing to me.” 

He shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets. 

“Kami, sit down. You make me so nervous sometimes.” You muttered at him, fetching some lemonade you had made earlier that day. 

“Thanks.” He mumbled, pushing his mask down to consume the beverage. 

Everytime he did that, your heart started beating fast. 

Damnit. 

“Can you tell me why you don’t take your mask off in public?” 

He looked at you while he set the cup down. 

“Hm. Bad breath.” 

Gross. 

But a blatant lie. 

“Mmhm, right. You don’t strike me as a person that has bad hygiene.” 

His lips turned up into a leer. 

“You don’t know that much about me.” 

He was right about that. 

“You can’t honestly throw _that_ in my face. Who in this world can say they know ten things about you, realistically?” 

Oh, no. 

You could see the darkness wash over his features at your stupid comment. 

Damn. 

“Kakashi. I’m sor-.” 

He waved you off, standing up and pushed your glass over to you. 

Mask firmly in place. 

“Thanks for the drink.” 

And he was gone before you could blink. 

It was the day of his session, and you were honestly on pins and needles. 

What if he was angry when he showed up? What if he was sarcastic the entire time? What if he didn’t show up at all? 

Sighing, you straightened up your desk again, aligning the pencils correctly, making sure the pens were in working order. Looking up, you found the notebook and shoved it away from you. He was a bit more open when you weren’t jotting down notes about him. 

But honestly, you should have known he wouldn’t come after what transpired last time. 

What you said had been hurtful, and completely out of line. 

You wanted to make it up to him. You wanted... 

Kami. You were getting emotionally involved with this man. 

Which he made hard _not_ to do because he was constantly popping up at random times to heckle you or give you things. 

Like the flower seeds you had planted as soon as he had disappeared from your home. 

You couldn’t wait to see what would bloom in their wake. 

When Kakashi had given you the packet, it was just a small, brown envelope, so you honestly didn’t know _what_ you were planting. It could be a poisonous herb they use to tip kunai’s with, and you would be none the wiser. 

Sigh. 

He hadn’t shown. And honestly that was not surprising. 

Walking through your door, you noticed your cat was staring at something out the window. 

“Tory? What you are you looking at?” 

The cat though just swiveled her head to you and jumped down, moving between your feet, giving a soft purr. 

Odd. 

It was two o’clock when the knock came, and you were steadily dreaming. 

Sitting up, you gripped your blanket, and sighed. 

Who the hell was it at this hour? 

Fumbling, you found your robe and shrugged it on over your long t-shirt and underwear. 

“Coming. Coming. Hang on.” 

It was Kakashi. 

And he looked...pale. Well, _paler_. 

“Hey. Are you alright?” You asked him, reaching your hand out to grasp his shoulder, which he stepped back from. 

Silence. 

“It’ll be alright, just come in.” You murmured in your most comforting tone. 

He side stepped you, moving through the door. 

The two of you sat in silence for awhile. You had changed into pajama bottoms, and grabbed him some hot tea. Which he drank diligently. 

“Kakashi. Somethings wrong. And you don’t have to talk about it. But, I think if you told me the bare minimum, it would help.” 

His dark eyes moved up and found you, the emptiness in them making you blanch. 

“Nightmares.” 

That’s what you figured. Especially this late at night. 

“I see.” You muttered, standing up, placing yourself on the sofa beside him. 

He tensed, moving his feet and arms closer to his body. 

“May I hold your hand?” You whispered. 

Silence. 

After a minute of tension and hesitation, he untensed his right hand. 

An invitation. 

“Okay. So, what we’re going to do is an exercise, and maybe it’ll help you calm down a little, okay?” 

He rolled his eyes, but shrugged, clutching your hand. 

“Pull your mask down, please.” 

Raising an eyebrow, he side eyed at you, but did as you told him to. 

“Okay, I want you to close your eyes, and envision a peaceful place. The most peaceful place you can imagine.” 

It took a second for him to follow your direction, but he did. 

“Now. I want you to just _feel_ your surroundings. Just feel what that serenity brings you.” 

His hand was clutching yours, long fingers interlaced with your smaller ones. 

This was a gamble, and you hoped to Kami he didn’t slap you or something out of reflex, but you wanted to _help_ the man. And usually when your mother did this, it was soothing, and helped you sleep. 

And Kami, you just wanted to see an expression on his face that isn’t closed off and guarded. 

Reaching up, you wound your fingers into his silver tresses. 

They were so soft. 

He pushed away from you, but you hung on. 

“Just stay there.” You whispered, soothing him with little shh’s. 

He stopped moving then, straightening up, his brows furrowed. 

“Stay in that place, Kakashi.” And you enunciated this with your fingernails dragging softly across his scalp. 

He breathed out, grunting softly. 

Had anyone ever done this for him? 

You were terrified that the answer was no, but couldn’t help it flowing through your mind. 

Oh yeah, you were in way too deep. 

Shaking lose those thoughts you continued to stroke his hair and whisper to him, telling him to imagine a person there that brings him, or brought him at some point happiness and peace. 

He seemed to calm down, and after awhile you drew back from him, getting an urge to stroke his strong jaw line as you pulled away. 

He seemed embarrassed when it was over, clearing his throat loudly. 

“T-Thanks.” He breathed, standing up, dragging his fingers through his messy locks. 

Smiling, you stared up at him, giving a small shrug. 

“That’s what I’m here for, Kakashi. Anyway I can help.” 

He just looked down at you, almost in confusion, and pulled his mask back onto his face. 

A shame. 

“Goodnight.” He muttered and took his leave. 

“Wanna get dinner?” Your coworker asked you. 

Again. 

Sigh, this guy. He had asked you on a date three times now, and every time you found a way to mosey out of it. But this time, he seemed hell bent on getting you to eat with him. 

Didn’t he get the hint? 

Oh well, you weren’t doing anything else. Might as well get a free meal out of it. 

“Well, this is my stop.” You mumbled, stopping in front of your door. 

Dunichi had you backed up against the wood in two seconds flat. 

“I can give you some company, if you’re not tired.” He whispered, aiming for sexy, but falling desperately short. 

Sighing, you moved to the side, trying to back away from the situation before it escalated. 

“Unfortunately, I’m super tired, and I’m in no need of company tonight.” 

He glared at you, and you felt a cold chill run down your back. 

“This is what I get for buying you dinner, a brush off?” 

Oh boy. 

“Well, honestly, I brushed you off before, several times, and you took it upon yourself to continue asking. I didn’t pursue you.” 

He smirked. 

“Always a sarcastic bitch, huh? Think you’re so much smarter, even in the office.” 

What? 

“Someone has masculinity issues.” A voice cut through. 

Kakashi. 

Dunichi whipped around, his arm still near your head. 

“Who the fuck are you?” 

You rolled your eyes. 

“Eh, that’s hardly important. What is important though is Y/N told you she wasn’t interested in what you clearly have to beg for. You should take that as a solid no.” 

Oh crap. 

Dunichi was first to swing the hit, but Kakashi. 

Well, he was _Kakashi._

Dunichi didn’t even get close to the jounins face before a hand whipped out and grabbed his fist, and twisted. 

He let out an ear piercing wail. 

“Kakashi! Stop!” You said to him, moving forward. 

The silver haired male just looked down at you, the one eye glancing you over, looking for damage.

Shrugging, he let the man go and flung him away from the both of you. 

“Fucking shinobi bastard.” Dunichi hissed, glaring at Kakashi. 

You sighed, rubbing your nose. 

“Can we please call it a night, Dunichi?” You asked in exasperation. 

He didn’t listen though, eyes still on Kakashi. 

“Hey. I know who you are. I remember a little story I heard about you.” 

Oh. 

“You killed that one girl, what was her name Rin? Just went crazy one day and offed _both_ of your teammates, huh?” 

You didn’t even have time to blink before Kakashi’s hand was wrapping around his throat, slamming him into the side of your house. 

“Kakashi! Kakashi, stop!” You pleaded with him, grabbing his elbow, trying to pull him off the other man who was gasping for air. 

Oh crap, he was turning purple. 

“Kakashi! You’re going to kill him, please stop!” And you pulled harder. Kami, his grip was like _iron._

Trying something, you reached out and grabbed his face, moving his eye to yours. 

“Stop.” You demanded, and he blinked rapidly then, letting go of Dunichi who collapsed to the ground in a heap. 

Oh Kami. 

Reaching low, you fumbled with his collar, yanking it away. 

He had a pulse. 

“Thank goodness.” You muttered, and chanced a glance up at the shinobi, who looked mortified at his actions. 

“Kakashi.” You called out, standing back up again. 

Silence. 

“Kakashi. Listen to me, you just had a PTSD attack, and you’re okay. You’re here with me, and I need your help now. Alright?” 

He was shaking. 

“Look at me.” You mumbled, grabbing his hands, and laying them on your face. 

Tactile. 

He needed to be grounded. 

“This was an accident, he provoked you and it was self-defense.” 

His face was so pale. 

“I need your help in getting him to the hospital. Can you do that for me?” 

After a few seconds, he nodded slowly. 

Dunichi would be fine. His windpipe was a little bruised, but other than that he was alright. You had told the ANBU who had approached you in the hospital about the altercation, specifying that Dunichi was getting violent and goading Kakashi. 

He said nothing, just stared at you in his creepy cat mask. 

Okay? 

After that, you didn’t see Kakashi anywhere. 

He was no-where to be found. He didn’t come to your office, he didn’t meet you at the door. No more sneaking up on you. 

Nothing. 

It was like he had vanished. 

You hated it because you were immensely worried about him. 

What if he wasn’t okay? 

You decided to take action. If the beast won’t come to the mountain, you would go to him. And you knew exactly where he’d be. 

It was drizzling when you got to the cemetery, the lines of tombstones in front of you barren, some of them with flowers. 

Moving forward, you adjusted your umbrella, taking a big breath in. 

There he was. 

Starting slowly, you knew there was no sneaking up on him. 

You stopped beside his prone form, raising your umbrella slightly to put it over his head as well. 

After a minute of silence, you gave him time to digest that you were actually here and turned to him slightly. 

“I've noticed you haven't been around lately. Where’d you go? A mission?” 

You knew the question was fast, but you had been so worried about him, and just wanted answers. 

He didn’t respond. 

“You know Dunichi is fine. He was out of the hospital the morning after what happened. He’s such a snake. Can’t believe I didn’t see it before. Well, I _did_ , I just assumed he’d be alright with one date because he kept asking me, and yeah-I'll just shut up now.” You mumbled, feeling foolish. 

He didn’t even seem to be listening. 

“You can’t blame yourself for what happened. It was just reaction, you know? Especially in cases like yours. Uh-you've been around violence your whole life. And that molds you to react a certain way.” 

Oh Kami, that was _not_ the thing to say to him! 

“I didn’t mean that you’re _abusive_ , I-I don’t know what I mean.” And you stopped fully, cheeks blood red from blushing so profusely. 

“Some _shrink_.” 

And the words were vicious. 

Blanching, you folded into yourself and nodded. 

“I’ll just leave you alone, then.” 

You turned to leave when you heard him turn around as well. 

“You wanted to know what and _who_ I am?” 

And the question was clear. 

You turned, feeling the tears prickle at your eyes. 

He flung his hands out, one towards the memorial, and another towards the way of Rin’s grave. 

“This. I’m...this is what I am. What I bring. What I almost did to your coworker. _This_.” 

He meant death. 

He was death, that’s what he thought of himself. 

Oh Kakashi. 

“And you’re right, it’s what I was brought up to be. What I was transformed and born into. I couldn’t save my teammates, nor my father.” 

You tightened your grip on the umbrella, watching as the rain started to mat his hair to his hiate. 

He looked so _lost_ so vulnerable in that moment, and all you wanted to do was enfold him in your arms and never let go. 

“Kakashi.” You called out over the weather. 

His eyes slid down. 

“We all choose a path, okay? But sometimes, paths are laid out for us. And we go down them. Not knowing what that path will bring us to.” 

You paused, gathering up your courage to continue. 

“And paths are littered with things we don’t see coming. It’s up to us to continue the trek forward.” 

Silence. 

“Don’t be stagnant, Kakashi. And don’t blame yourself for choices of others. Your friends are still _with_ you.” 

You did move forward now, stopping a few feet in front of him. 

“The will they had is still with you. They left that _for_ you. Knowing you could shoulder what they wanted the future to be.” 

You saw his eye widen. 

“They trusted you above all to carry out what they wished life _could_ be. And it sounds like a heavy burden, but, Kami, I wish someone loved me enough to put that kind of trust in me.” 

Silence. 

“Kakashi, if you don’t have faith in yourself, have faith in those who had faith in _you_. Who _still_ have faith in you.” 

And then his eyes started to water. 

Oh Kami, you made him cry. 

“Oh gosh, I’m so so-.” 

And that’s all you managed to get out before he gathered you into an awkward hug, clutching the back of your head with his hand. 

You gave him a second, your hand gripping the back of his flack jacket. 

“Y/N, thank you.” He whispered, and you smiled against the crook of his neck. 


End file.
